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goodbye

A few minutes ago I received word that my father died this morning. I suppose more technically he is my step-father, but I have never met the real one.

I will have more to say about it later, when a few things are arranged. I am interested in what my readers have to say about it in the meantime.

By elyograg

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy with the proof.
-- J.K. Galbraith

5 replies on “goodbye”

What do I have to say? Hmm. This event means that you are free to choose your inheritance. By this I do not mean anything which can be catalogued or counted, or held. Nothing physical. But you can decide what portions of him you will keep and send into the future, and which portions of him you will let be buried and forgotten. It is a powerful time of self definition for you, and by extension, your progeny.

It will also change your relationship with your mother. You should prepare for this. Time for introspection on both counts will become important. You should take such mundane steps as are required to allow for it – after the arrangements are completed.

I never knew if I should call him Charles or Chuck and I never dared to ask. Despite knowing you for many years, Shawn, I mostly remember him being in the background grumbling.

There was that one occasion after dinner at your house when he suddenly got up and, after removing his shirt, looped his hand through a rope with a noose suspended from the ceiling by a pulley and started jerking his hand up and down in a violent fashion. I later learned that he had been in a motorcycle accident and that was part of his physical therapy. Then I remember thinking how ingenious he was at rigging up something like that.

I remember the summer he spent at Mirror lake as a campground welcomer. I remember the side business you all had in pre-printing tractor-feed forms for some company named Pony Express or something like that. He did have the first 600 bps modem I had ever seen.

I remember he liked to go square dancing on Wednesday nights although I never saw either of your parents in their square dancing attire.

I suppose that now that he has passed on he will quit giving you hell over that electro-magnetic lock we “borrowed”. And that camp stove.

I know he had guns because I know that in your old house on Topaz Drive there was that secret closet in the family room, but I never got to see inside. I believe he worked for the phone company (in the Ma Bell days) and then in the end for AT&T.

Ouch; My most sincere heart felt sympathy goes out to you and your family. Being from a divorced family I know that many times the people that you connect with and or lookup too may or may not be biologically your parent. However this does not take away from the feeling of loss. May you find comfort in knowing that you are cared for by many people and have friends to turn to in this time of need. Please do not hesitate to ask for help in anyway that you find needed.

technically he was your adopted father. He adopted you when you were young. And yes he was a grump. Nat, he would have answere to either one, his family (brothers, sisters parents) called him Charles. He refered to himself as Chuck and some called him Chuckie, Charlie, Chas and some called him $@$$$$@&@@#.

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