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single awareness day 2005

It’s Valentine’s Day. Have you remembered to obtain SOMETHING for your significant other today?

For those of the male species who may not be aware, we cannot EVER ignore any Hallmark Holiday (birthdays, mother’s day, anniversary, TODAY, etc.), even if she tells you that you don’t need to get her anything. The fact that you remembered the day will bring her joy. If you forget or take her “no gift” request literally, it will break her heart and forgiveness will be slow. If she really loves you, only time and extreme grovelling will soothe the hurt — the most expensive gift in the world might actually make it worse.

People who are single tend to hate Valentine’s Day. Is there anyone who hasn’t heard it bitterly referred to as “Single Awareness Day” — a day that single people are cruelly reminded by everyone around them that they have no love life?

I enjoy Valentine’s Day myself. I have been married for just over four years, and the relationship is still going strong. I love my wife very much, and all evidence says she loves me. Last year I bought my wife concert tickets for a show that played on her birthday, and gave them to her on Valentine’s Day. I’m afraid that the budget keeps me from doing something so flashy this year.

UPDATE: I didn’t intend the focus of my second paragraph above to be gifts. I was trying to say that you must show, in some way, that the day is important to you and that you remembered it. The problem arises when the man inteprets “don’t get me anything” as “today means nothing, don’t worry about it.”

By elyograg

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy with the proof.
-- J.K. Galbraith

6 replies on “single awareness day 2005”

In case the evidence isn’t enough…I love you VERY much! You’re absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me.

And just so you know, when I say “don’t get me anything” I actually do mean it and won’t be angry if you do what I say. This wasn’t always true, I know, but I think finding myself in a solid, trusting, contented marriage for so long helps a lot. It’s easy to know how you feel about me, and the lack of a gift when we both know money is needed elsewhere certainly doesn’t make me feel any less loved.

I told Rich I didn’t want him to get me anything, and I really meant it. It does happen. =)

And you two are too cute. Stop it! 😉

I’m with Shawn. If a woman says “don’t get me anything” she really means is “don’t spend a lot of money” — but you better get her something, even if it is just a card. It is suicide not to.

For me, ‘don’t get me anything’ *means* ‘don’t get me anything,’ not ‘don’t get me anything expensive.’ I know people who play that card, though–mostly women, but the occasional gay man–and it always just makes me feel all skeevy. Eek. Why do I need Hallmark to specify one day during the year that I must show my husband how much I love him? I can do that anytime, and for me, those non-Vday gifts mean more–it’s because he wanted to, not because he felt he had to because of some arbitrary holiday.

Er. Yeah. Stepping away from the soapbox, sorry. 🙂

Anyway. Very glad to see that you’re so happy! Best wishes to you and your wife–and the kids, of course. 🙂

Definitely agree with you, Liz. Like Sean Connery says in Finding Forrester “An unexpected gift at an unexpected time.”

I’m sure I should do that more often.

never made a comment, Shawn, but I’ve known you for years… yes, I believe one of the first occassions (while sleeping over)was you in your tight whites asking Rina and Jenniffer for a brush (they said you would do that!) anyway…

blah blah blah… I’m a woman, and you are right, mostly. The comment comes out, “don’t buy me anything”, first meaning, don’t buy me anything, then you think, ok, not anything too expensive. One year, the husband, listens to you and doesn’t get you anything… of course, you are hurt, but on further contemplating, you realize, you “asked for it”…. and you never tell him that again!

Then you’ve been married for a while, money gets tighter, and you say it again. This time, if your husband has forgotten the first episode, he again honors your request. Either the wife has grown up a bit or not….blah blah blah and the years roll on…

I, luckily, have a husband that lavishes me with gifts all the time and seems to make some of the holidays seem even more special.

All, in all, couples will learn to “know” what each other is “really” saying and you still love each other!

I did love your comments, Shawn, and may even put them in my PTA Newsletter for February next year… if I’m still on the PTA Board.

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